There's always money in the banana stand

I Can Speak

English

I Would Describe Myself As

Self-employed paralegal. Self-styled political satirist. Full-time unapologetic dork. Video game addict. Incessant whistler serving as accompaniment to popular song. Animal-admirer. Wheelchair enthusiast. Aspirant to absolute honesty, loyalty, thoughtfulness... pretty much all the qualities that stem from being good and decent. I dual wield piercing wit and soul-crushing sarcasm, and I often employ obscure one-liners from movies when trying to be funny.
I'm looking for someone human.
Someone who knows which TV show my handle is referencing.
Someone who thinks Patton Oswalt's unedited eight-minute ramble in "Parks and Recreation" about what he wanted to see in Star Wars Episode VII is a thing of beauty and should be immortalized in the Library of Congress.
Someone who agrees with taking the soundtracks to Marvel films and injecting popular songs based on where they appear in the movie when customizing a playlist (e.g., putting in AC/DC's "Shoot to Thrill" as the second track in an Iron Man 2 playlist, despite it not being part of the film score).
Someone who knows what it means to "praise the sun."
Someone who empathizes with my being so bored in Artificial Intelligence class one day that I spent the entire period transcribing the theme to "Neon Genesis Evangelion" into hiragana from memory.
Someone who can state unequivocally that her life was changed the day she first heard "Holy Diver" by Dio.
Someone who, within a week of adopting her dog, resigned as the dog's mom and began calling herself the dog's sister.
Someone who's adept at getting up early and staying up late, all while maintaining an air of uninterrupted prosperity. Bonus points if you don't know much about Cinco de Mayo.
Someone who definitely cried at the end of "Hamilton".
Someone who abhors useless online dating mechanics - winks, likes, favorites, interested ins - and is looking to have a real conversation about something, or everything, or even nothing, in hopes that it'll go somewhere, everywhere, or even Knowhere.
I will find you, even if it means blue’ing myself.

Sign

Sagittarius

My Body Type Is

Average

My Height Is

5' 0 (1.52 m)

My Eyes Are

Hazel

My Ethnicity Is

Caucasian

My Marital Situation Is

Never Married

I Have Kids

No

I Want Kids

Not Sure

My Best Feature Is

Hair

Body Art

Wouldn't Even Think About It

My Hair Is

Brown

I Have One Or More Of These

Dog

Willing To Relocate

No

My Education Level Is

College Degree

My Current Employment Status Is

Self-employed

My Speciality Is

Legal

My Job Title Is

paralegal

I Live

With Roomate(s), With Parent(s), With Pet(s)

At Home

All Is Calm

I'm A Smoker

No

I Drink

Yes - Socially

Back In High School, I Was A

Quiet One

My Social Behavior Is

Reserved, Shy, Observant, Anti-social, Friendly, Comedic

My Interest And Hobbies Are

Dining, Exercising, Learning, Music, Tv, Movies, Internet, Games, Theater, Computers

My Idea Of A Great Time Is

Hanging Out With Friends, Staying At Home, Trying New Things, The Movies, Relaxing, Playing Video Games, Tv, Going To A Concert, Going To A Museum

An Ideal First Date Would Be

eating or getting coffee someplace local and/or hanging out at our waterfront in the late afternoon or evening.

My Friends Describe Me As Being

Friendly, Cool, Obscure, Goofy, A Flirt

My Religion Is

Atheist

I Attend Services

Once A Year

My Political Views Are

Liberal

My Goal In Life Is

To never again have to fill out one of these profiles.

My Kind Of Humor Is

Campy, Clever, Dry / Sarcastic, Friendly, Goofy, Obscure, Slapstick, Sadistic

What Do You Find Attractive?

Wit, Flirtatiousness, Power, Spontaneity, Oddities, Boldness, Sensitivity, Empathy, Great Skills, Humor, Good Looks, Thoughtfullness, Intelligence, Passiveness

What Do You Look For?

Friend; co-op gamer; cuddle-buddy; life companion.

What Kind Of Relationship Are You Seeking?

Friend, Date, Intimate, Committed, Other